If only for a season...

Love bug-

I just found out that I got a new job. You see, I was laid off of work Feb 28, 2010. We kept you with Ms. Kelly as long as we could while I was looking for a new job. You see, she was the angel that was sent to Daddy and I when we were looking for someone to watch you. She was AMAZING, and became a very special part of our family. Leaving someone else to care for you was the hardest thing ever, and she was so great. After a month of looking for a job, we made the difficult decision to take you out of her care and I would be a stay-at-home mommy to you while looking for a job. Taking you out, meant that she would not have a spot for you when I found my next job.

Well, that time has come. Mommy found a new job-which means that I am needing to find someone else to care for you while I work. As I sit here and write this, I am literally in tears!! Being with you these past months, was such a special time. We did so much together!! Lots of little trips to the park, reading books, gardening, playing with new friends, jumping off the couch, throwing the ball for Thor, coloring, and just being together. Honestly, when the decision was made that I would care for you, I was crushed. I feel that you deserve so much, and that I would be taking away your friends and the way you learned from others. I felt that I would not be able to do a good job being you mommy! I was wrong, you loved being with me, and we really became so close.

I think about the next person that will be caring for you. I think about how crazy it is going to make me as a search and search until I find the person who is worthy to have you in their life, to teach you, to love you and to let you be a boy.

I spent some time putting away all of your 1st year items. WOW...time does fly and you do not skip a beat! You have grown into so much more than I could've even asked for in a son. You are rough, tough and have no fear. Although you eat so sloppy, throw everything and run and scream...you can still melt my heart when you sit quietly in my lap & want me to read you a book. Every so often, turning you head, puckering you lips, and leaning in for a kiss.

You are EVERYTHING to me, and I want you to know, that no matter where I am, what I am doing...I am doing it for you and I NEVER stop thinking of you!

You truly are mommy's little love bug!!!

We still have 5 weeks together before I start full time daycare, and they are going to fly by so fast! Auntie Des gave me the best advice, "enjoy this time with Brody, it may only be for a season".

I love you with all of my heart and you make me so proud to me called "mommy"!

Until next time....I LOVE YOU!!!!