Ready Or Not...Here She Comes!

I am back at it again and this time, I really want to stick with this whole blogging commitment. I am inspired by those who keep track of their thoughts on life, updates and photos of the family…etc. So, here is my attempt to keep anyone who cares…up to date on our life!

Hard to believe that my last blog was over a year ago and was a special letter to Brody, after I had accepted a new position with a company…well fast-forward until now and here I sit…blogging about life and how it is going to be changing so drastically in just 3 months when we finally get to meet our daughter, the next piece of our family, precious Chloe!

When Drew and I decided to yank out that IUD (yes…”yank” in the literal sense), I remember the doctor telling me that, statistically, I should be pregnant in about a year – challenge accepted! Forget the stats…Drew and I were back in her office within 3 months! Total blessing for an impatient person like myself!

Finding out it was a sweet girl was even more exciting. I always wanted one of each – not to mention, I think that it is very special for a girl to have an older brother. (I remember having a hard time in college, being away from home – having the wrong friends on campus and the times my older brother was there for me…sometimes when I didn’t even realize it….he was looking out for me) I get a little sappy thinking of Brody having that same compassion for Chloe, watching out for her, protecting her…giving her advice, especially when Drew and I are the last people she wants to talk to.

I know that life is going to change drastically. I know that it will be a challenge to have two children, but I also have faith that God has chosen Chloe for us. He blessed us with Brody, who has completed our life in a way that I cannot even describe – seriously, I cannot even imagine life without him and now, to know that Drew and I are being entrusted with a daughter and for Brody, a sister, I can rest assured knowing that Chloe is made only for us and she will be the perfect fit.

Do not get me wrong, the excitement of all the pink, the lace, the bows - it all pales in comparison to my absolute fears about raising a daughter. At times, I get sick to my stomach thinking about whether or not I will be the kind of woman it takes to raise this perfect little girl, even scarier, how I will do at raising her into a woman.

Let’s all be honest, this world is not the ideal setting to raise a girl, much less, to raise children at all. People are creeps…this world is full of lies…and we have to not only teach our children to sort through it all, but we ourselves have to lead by example.

I am a woman, a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister, and a friend. I like to think that I do a decent job at all of my “duties”; however, I am also SUPER insecure! I want the perfect body, perfect face, perfect hair and the perfect clothes…I am insecure in how I look and how I am perceived – I struggle daily with the thought that I will never be enough. With that being the thorn in my side, how can I teach my precious daughter not to get caught up in the world and their “image” of perfection, when I cannot lead by example?

These are my true fears – my struggles and worries. Amidst all the fun times that come with having another baby, the showers, the new clothes, decorating the nursery…I constantly come back to my fears. As much as I cannot wait to see her, hold her, and, (in moderation) hear her sweet cry – but I know that those precious moments will pass so quickly, in the blink of an eye she will be grown and sooner or later I will have to let her grow up…

She will talk back; she will want to wear make up; she will want to leave the house in a mini skirt; some insufficient sap will knock on our door expecting to take her on a date – only to be greeted by a very large daddy and brother who will be yielding a weapon of some sort; she will make horrible decisions – ones that I too made – ones that I cannot save her from; she will get her heart broken and I will need to learn the hard way that, as much as I may want to, I cannot take away her pain; hopefully, she will want to go shopping with me; she will learn to cook; she will learn what it means to go from being a girl to a woman; she will tell me that she hates me; she will slam her door; she will move out; she will fall in love; she will need to choose for herself to trust the Lord – all of these things are inevitable, none of these things I have control over – and for me, that is a hard pill to swallow.

I believe that Chloe is in heaven right now, I believe that Jesus is preparing her for her appearance into this world. I know that she is formed by the hand of God. Not only her physical body, but her mind, her personality and her heart. I know that God has big plans for her; just as he does for everyone…I know He is encouraging her…teaching her…loving her…and telling her all about Drew, Brody and I – preparing her little mind to be apart of our lives…FOREVER! Just as He is preparing us to raise her into the woman God has called her to be. It’s easy to write and I know that truth in my heart, but my prayer is that I can reflect that.

Chloe Jennifer Simpson, I pray that we are enough for you. I pray that you will always know how perfect you are, how much you are loved and that you are the most perfect and beautiful girl in the world! You have no idea just how much you are already loved, how devoted your daddy and I are to you and your brother. You are our daughter, you will always be our daughter and NOTHING you can do will ever cause us to stop loving you!

I can hardly wait for this next adventure, I know the good outweighs the fear of the bad...bring on the pink, lace and bows!